Heroes verses Trauma
Ok. The good stuff! Finally. I’ve been wanting to do this post for a long time.
Nechema Tec was a World War II Holocaust child survivor. She grew up wondering, “Why did people help me when I put them and their families in danger?”
Then she turned this question into a career studying altruism.
Altruism is the quality that turns a bystander into a hero.
I want to bring this down to something we’ve probably all faced… bullying. It doesn’t matter the age or the location or situation… bullying is “Abuse and mistreatment of someone vulnerable by someone stronger, more powerful.”
According to Paul Coughlin, author of No More Jellyfish, Chickens, or Wimps - bullying can be prevented and stopped by the actions and interactions of the bystander.
I bring this up because the more I learn about human interactions on a global scale the more the patterns simply look like scaled up versions of a schoolyard playground. (Interesting article below: https://theprotectors.org/2019/03/26/bullying-and-survival-of-the-so-called-fittest/)
So instead of saying, “Big scary internationally threatening dictator,” - think of them as a bully on a playground.
And remember - you’re an adult. You don’t have to be afraid of the bully.
Bullying is an early childhood trauma - and it shapes children for life, so it should never be taken lightly. Bullying trains boys that in order to get what they want they have to be aggressive, which leaks over into abusive situations. Bullying trains girls that they have to accept abuse, that abuse is ok and they just need to stop being sensitive and deal… all of this normalizes domestic violence, and makes both boys and girls more vulnerable to abusive relationships, gang activity and human trafficking. (People who identify as other genders are just as vulnerable too when isolated.)
Back to Nechema Tec’s research…
Nechema Tec identified six qualities that make heroes.
Individuality - they felt unique and separate from others
Independence - comfortable with acting alone, strong self reliance, deep need to follow their personal beliefs and values (acting on the values, instead of spouting as proof of goodness)
History of Altruism - strong values and a history of acting on them, with a focus on the idea of protecting the needy
Modesty about Acts of Rescue - they view helping others as a natural thing to do. (As opposed to turning away and ignoring the issue.)
Spontaneity - when confronted with an opportunity to take action against an unjust status quo, they choose to take action
Unversalism/Empathy - the need to act against the evil and the unjust treatment
Next week we’ll contrast these things with a trauma reaction.